We had this plan to make money. Joey would take my pocket knife, open it and lay it on the road. I would stand in the street and warn people there was a knife in the road. Bill would walk out and pick up the knife. The driver would give us a reward for saving his tires. It didn’t work that way at all. Someone yelled at me to get my dumb ass out of the road. Another person ran over my knife. It was ruined.
For fun we would sit on top of our Tonka trucks and ride them down hills.
There was an old biker guy that lived upstairs from us. He always had board games and candy for us. We would go and he would sit and watch us play Twister. When we played in the courtyard, he was always in his window watching us.
Joey and I were convinced that a murderer lived underneath the school. We looked into the basement every recess. We never saw this killer.
We had big brick shaped blocks in class. We were never allowed to play with those. They were there to torment us.
Once a week the class would walk to the beach and have a picnic for lunch.
Hal told me that what I saw my parents doing was called humping.
Hal’s Sister Debbie took me in the closet and asked if I knew what a French kiss was. I told her no. She put her mouth on mine and stuck her tongue in my mouth.
Debbie asked me if she sucked my wiener would pee come out. I said I don’t think so. We tried it the next day, nothing came out.
I wonder where Debbie learned these things. I wonder if the biker guy showed her.
I had to hold the hood of the car open so my dad could try and fix something. I got distracted and dropped it on him.
Hal, Joey, Bill and I took some wood from a construction site. We wanted to build a clubhouse. Somebody saw us take the wood and called the police. The cops came to our house and explained that stealing is wrong and that we could go to kid’s jail if we did it again.
We found a dead body in the alley on the way to school. His pockets were pulled out of his pants. His zipper was down and his dick was sticking out. He had cut on his neck. His chest had a hole in it. We were excited; we thought we were going to be on TV for finding this guy. The cops asked us a lot of questions and gave us a ride to school.
I dressed as C-3PO for Halloween. I didn’t know his name. I told my mom I wanted to be that gold robot from Star Wars. Bill’s mom made him a Luke Skywalker costume. My mom bought mine from a store. I’m not complaining, there is no way she could make me a C-3PO costume. I looked pretty shitty next to Bill though.
Joey’s mom dumped hot turkey juice down her legs. The ambulance took her away. They cut away her pants. I saw her in her underwear. They were pink.
An old man fell and hit his head on a brick wall. There was blood everywhere. I told my mom. She told me not to make up stories.
I would wear Toughskins jeans and Garanimals.
I saw a fly caught in a spider’s web. I sat and watched the spider eat the fly. I felt sad after that.
Me and Hall buried some hotwheels in an empty lot. The next day they were gone.
I used to eat gum off the sidewalk.
We used to stop every day at a bait store on the way home from school. We would buy sharks teeth for ten cents